MacGyver could fix my bike

[Jeff Gross]

Q: What gets wetter and wetter the more that it dries?
A: A towel.



MacGyver Tips

MacGyver could fix anything with anything with a Swiss Army knife. Here are some bike fixes from parts not in the Performance catalog.

• Computer magnets are usually bulky ugly magnets encased in a plastic housing and screwed onto a spoke. Replace them with a refirgerator Super Magnet glued to a spoke. You can get super magnets at a hardware store, or pry one out of the plastic butterfly on your refrigerator. You should really frame your child's artwork and hang it on the wall, anyway.
• Bicycle tie-downs  are usually a bungee cord with metal hooks on the ends. It is often handy to have something with you on the bike to hang a jacket off your saddle or carry some great gutter treasure back home. Bungee cords do not stretch very far and the hooks can be awkward. Instead, cut a used inner tube in half lengthwise, and you will have two five foot rubber bands that you can wrap and strap to hold your crap.
• Safety Pin. If you have ever fallen on your bike (and violated the first rule of bicycliing), you might have torn your jersey or shorts and exposed way too much. unmentionable parts. You do not need a sewing kit to fix that, just a safety pin. It is also great for digging out the splinter you got from the fall, and for digging out the piece of glass in your tire that caused the fall in the first place.
• Does your favorite pair of bike gloves fit tight, and are impossible to get off when they are soaked with sweat? Tie a string loosely through the fingers for easy removal. Loop one string through the finger holes of the little finger and ring finger. Loop another string through the finger holes of the index and middle finger.
• Plastic baggies make great winter toe covers. Cut a triangle from the corner of the baggie, about 4 inches out from the corner. Open the triangle and wrap it over your toes, then put your feet in your shoes. Enough to cover your toes and past the ball of your foot will cut wind and rain and sleet and gloom of night. Well, maybe not the gloom of night thing.
• Clear nail polish. Put a bottle in your tool box. Cover and protect paint dings. Use it instead of Loctite to secure nuts and bolts that keep loosening up.

Q: What goes up and down the stairs without moving?
A: A rug.

Bike crash done right.

http://www.bicycling.com/training-nutrition/injury-prevention/legend-fall

Q: A bacteria is put in a Petri dish at Noon. The bacteria doubles every minute. The Petri dish is full an hour later at 1:00. When was the Petri dish half full?
A: One minute before Noon.


Tech Tip: some things tighten counterclockwise.
Pedals and bottom bracket tighten the same pedaling would turn them.

Q: A farmer goes to the market and buys a fox, a goose, and a bag of beans. On his way home, he has to cross the river, but the boat can only fit the farmer and one of his purchases. If the farmer leaves them alone, the fox will eat the goose, and the goose will eat the beans. How should the farmer carry everything across the river?
A: Bring the goose over. Take the boat back. Bring the fox over. Bring the goose back. Bring the beans over. Take the boat back. Bring the goose over.


Langley RCMP investigate the scene in this file photo where a road rage incident claimed one life.  Photograph by: Staff , Canwest News Service

Treat road-rage bullies with caution.

Road rage is something that happens much more often today than it did in the past. The greatly increased volume of traffic and longer commutes are at least partly to blame for the higher stress felt by most drivers.

The best way to handle a road-rage situation is to avoid eye contact with the offending driver.

There are four stages of road rage. The first involves a driver using rude gestures. This may include the waving of a fist, the one-finger salute or a shouted insult, accompanied by a loud and prolonged horn blast. The offending driver usually drives away but often the bad behaviour continues.

The second stage involves a driver positioning his or her vehicle in such a fashion as to block or intimidate another driver. This may include a quick stop in front of your car or even an abrupt lane change. It is best to stay in your vehicle with the doors locked. Avoid confrontation with an agitated driver, since you do not know the relative state of mind of the offending person. A cellphone is indispensable in these types of situations. It is recommended that a driver who is being harassed drive to a police station, hospital, shopping centre or any other populated area where security will likely be present.

The third stage is when a driver leaves his or her vehicle to approach or confront a motorist, pedestrian or cyclist. The approaching road-rage offender may have a visible or concealed weapon. The targets of the road-rage instigator are often people who are least able to defend themselves. Many of these confrontations happen at night when visibility needed for proper identification is greatly reduced. The advantage of surprise is usually on the side of the driver, cyclist, pedestrian or passenger who initiates a road-rage incident. Keep your own emotions under control and many difficult situations can be defused.

The fourth stage is the use of the vehicle as a weapon or indeed such other weapons as a baseball bat, firearm or a tire iron.

Report all severe road-rage incidences to the police. The bad behaviour exhibited in stages 2 through 4 is illegal. Bullying should not be tolerated, in the traffic system or in the schoolyard. Women, seniors and young drivers are often targets of the bully and don't know what to do in a difficult situation such as road rage. An inexperienced driver may get out of the car to explain the situation, while someone with experience will dial 9-1-1 and lock the doors.

Most road-rage situations result from some fairly simple errors by drivers, such as improper signalling or impolite use of the horn. The most important thing to do when confronted by a driver in a bad mood is to maintain your own composure. Self-control is the first step in neutralizing a potentially combative situation.

The most alarming statistic I have seen in the last few years came from Vancouver. Before the recent bait car program, it was estimated that one in 50 vehicles in the Lower Mainland was stolen or being driven by an unlicensed driver. This simple statistic should make us all aware of the criminal element on our roadways. Effective policing has greatly ameliorated this situation.

Your personal safety is always of paramount importance. Never compromise it, and plan in advance for possible unpleasant driving situations. Remember that "courtesy is contagious" and most situations can be defused by a smile, a friendly wave and by maintaining self-control.

Steve Wallace is a longtime teacher and owner of Wallace Driving School in Victoria.

Q: What English word has three consecutive double letters?
A: bookkeeper.



Shouldn't a Realtor Tell Me How to Much to Offer?

While real estate agents can guide a buyer to choose the right number, don't expect a buyer's agent to name your price. Experienced buyer's agents will provide direction, market information and suggested price ranges, but the final price is the buyer's responsibility. Here are a few reasons why most agents will refuse to name your price:

Offer Was Too Low

If your real estate agent encouraged you to submit a lowball offer, and you lost the chance to buy that home because another offer came in higher or worse, because the seller refused to respond to the offer, you will instantly point the finger of blame at your agent.

Offer Was Too High

When an offer is immediately accepted, buyers often wonder if they should have made an initial offer for much less. When the agent insists on a price, and the seller signs without hesitation, buyers sometimes question whether their agent was working in the buyer's best interest or working for the agent's own commission.

It's Not the Agent's Purchase

It's the buyer's decision because it will be the buyer's home. When the transaction closes, the buyer will make the mortgage payments and be responsible for maintaining the home, not the agent. Many buyers are much wiser than they give themselves credit for and are fully capable of selecting a price to offer.

Agents Can Get Sued

You will undoubtedly hear from novice agents or those not engaged as a Realtor who will profess a different train of thought. That's because these people don't know any better, so don't hold their ignorance against them.

Some regulatory and state licensing authorities advise against agents telling buyers how much to offer. The National Association of Realtors' Code of Ethics do not suggest that agents pick pricing, either. Brokers definitely advise against it. And our court case logs are filled with decisions against agents who ignored those warnings, because buyers sued them for overstepping their bounds of authority.

Competent agents do provide enough guidance and assistance to lead a buyer to choose the right offer pricing. Regardless of what you may hear, it is always the buyers' choice, not the agent's. Although your real estate agent is likely reluctant to name a price for you, you can utilize your agent's expertise to figure out a price to offer when buying a home.

Obtain Crucial Data Before Making a Home Offer

It's always helpful to find out why the seller is selling; however, you might not be able to obtain that information because the listing agent may refuse to tell you. But you can gather information without relying on the listing agent's cooperation. Realize that none alone of the following is sufficient, but each used in conjunction with the others will help buyers to make the decision on which price is best to offer.

Determine the Market

Check the temperature of the marketplace. It is the market hot, cold or neutral? If you're making an offer in a buyer's market, you will have less competition for the home. Sellers will be more likely to be receptive to any offer because there are fewer buyers. If you're buying in a seller's market, sellers might not consider any offer that is less than list price. In fact, sellers could very well receive multiple offers, which means your offer should be as attractive as possible to win acceptance.

Find Out How Much the Seller Paid

While it is true that in many cases the price the seller originally paid for the home has little bearing on today's market; however, if the seller purchased a few years ago in a depressed market, with little appreciation since, the asking price should be closer to the seller's purchase price.

Although you may not be able to figure out the condition of the home when the seller bought it, nor whether the circumstances were extenuating, you can adjust for increases due to appreciation and remodeling improvements.

Determine the Seller's Mortgage Balance

Unless the seller is in default and willing to participate in a short sale, the seller is unlikely to accept an offer for less than the mortgage(s), plus closing costs.

If the seller has an extremely high mortgage balance, and the property is vacant, you can assume the seller is making those mortgage payments out-of-pocket, probably paying on two homes.

If the mortgage balance is very low, the seller might not be motivated to immediately sell, and can afford to wait out the market to get list price.

Examine Comparable Sales

When looking at comparable sales, use only the properties that are similar in configuration, age and location to the home you want to buy. Use the data from the most recently sold sales, and don't look beyond six months because appraisers won't.

Check Square-Foot Cost Averages

First, understand that smaller homes are priced higher per square foot and larger homes are priced less per square foot. You cannot take the average square-foot cost and multiple it by the square footage of the home you want to buy to come up with a reasonable price to offer. But you can check the trends to determine if the square-foot cost averages are on the rise or declining and use that information to your advantage.

Ask for the Home's History and DOM

Sometimes agents take listings off the market and resubmit them as a new listing. Find out if the home was an expired listing and then relisted. The DOM are important, because if homes have been on the market longer than 30 days, the sellers might be more motivated to wheel and deal.

In closing, try not to become emotionally attached to the home before your offer to purchase is accepted. Prepare yourself for a counter offer. Keep several other homes in mind in case your offer is rejected.


Q: You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?
A: An ear of corn.

Bike lots,
Jeff Gross
jeff@fullcommitment.com

[David Gerchman]

But what if you just want to have a "conversation" with said road rage driver? I mean when they stop they turn nice awful quick once I unclip and stand up.